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They should have asked you first!

Updated: Aug 19, 2020

The driver utters those words while chauffeuring the little king and me, to my hotel room as my car trailed behind us which was being towed by the roadside service. The small talk took a sharp turn after answering the simple question: “What your book is about?” After giving a 30-second synopsis of my book: A Memoir of Healing and Deliverance from Sex Abuse The Dirty Man. My years of speaking to teens and adults alike were not prepared for this man’s response.

“See your parent and The Dirty Man should have asked you first.” Because of the statement I sat back in my seat with utter disappointment. He further explained some twisted reference to the bible, as to why there was nothing wrong with the sexual abuse as long as permission was requested beforehand. In that moment it was clear that my mission was far from over, there was still so much education needed on the issue of sexual abuse.


My attempt to inform him that sex abuse was not something that a fourteen-year-old child can consent to with a man-decades older even with the consent of my biological parent. After continuing to educate him on the Illinois laws on the matter, he held his position stating that nothing was wrong with the egregious actions of those in authority over me. While continuing for an additional 30 minutes to the hotel, it was clear he saw nothing wrong with the rape and serial sexual abuse of young children. As informed as I am, he continued to justify his distorted view on child sex abuse.

The driver asked, “How old are you?” After answering he stated, “there’s so much anger and bitterness” I’m picking up from you. One thing I have mastered from my years of working through the toxic and abusive manipulators in my past is that they love to distort a person’s perception. It’s up to one to denounce and stand firm in their truth. My passion to eliminate sex abuse from this world is clear; perhaps mislabeled as bitterness and anger because of my unapologetic answer to the call to address and dismantle the society’s misconceptions about sex abuse.

Laws concerning sex abuse varies from a state to state. Some states accept child marriage to adults, others do not recognize no to mean no while intoxicated or under influence. What are your local laws on sex abuse Kings and Queens? Are children protected in your community from adult predators, who may use such loophole, to cover up their sexual abuse and exploitation of young children?


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