“Let’s have a date night!” Mr. Mac texted those words this month, which once caused me to move mountains to spend quality time with him. The love I shared with this man was magical (demonic) as we created memorable moments together, but he was not supposed to be a part of my life. Those connections meant everything to me, at times risking and losing it all for the sake of that connection. Minimal effort and plenty of lies filled our time together.
The toxic relationship connection demanded compromise after compromise to the point that I no longer identified with the reflection in the mirror. Recently, Mr. Mac proposed leaving my little king (7 years old) by himself in a separate hotel or room while we spent time together after blocking and removing his new number, it hit me how toxic our relationship and the business partnership has been.
That version of myself no longer exists since I have evolved from that broken place and Mr. Mac refuses to accept this fact.
My thirst for acceptance and love by the version of Mr. Mac I had in my head and heart never existed in reality. The random acts disguised as love and his self-revealing sexual videos once temporarily filling the loneliness in my heart. Thank God for deliverance and the restoration of wholeness! My love for him is no longer controlling my sexual desires and appetite for Mr. Mac, it has been released to GOD and has come under subjection. The same tricks that derailed and delayed the past seasons have been rendered ineffective at this time since the maturity has taken place spiritually a massive win of no longer having a sexual desire for Mr. Mac.
The block-list and no response to matters that come to delay and distract my purpose has developed substantially in this journey of wholeness. My love for him as a person, unwavering belief in his ability to continue to excel in all aspects of life, has not changed. The control of my mind, body, and heart has been severed and connected with Father God and my purpose. The delusions of my poor perception via the eyes of loneliness, the hearts longing for acceptance and love is now healed. I am no longer glorifying the small moments and joys of the dysfunctional relationship. I am clear on the elements required to have a beautifully romantic healthy relationship. Finally, accepting my parts in the poor connections like Mr. Mac, actively healing those dysfunctional traits which have allowed me to gain power over this territory.
The lovebug (demonic stronghold/soul-tie) only lasted as long as I granted a high level of access to my heart and intimate circle, once the decision to save and secure my peace became the priority, it became easier to stand firm in my decision to release the toxic relationship. The purposed date included dinner kings and queens, the appetite for mediocre connections and relationships has changed, which has evolved to a more refined pallet.
The past seasons of believing I was no longer worthy of a fantastic love since the once in a lifetime voucher was already redeemed with my first king is far from the promises from God. There is still kingdom focused men, the Father has not run out of acceptable life partners; there is one who is assigned to me that embodies and will demonstrate the kind of love God has for us! At the appointed time, we will link up and make a considerable impact in the Kingdom of GOD. Having a successful first marriage does not disqualify me from having a successful kingdom marriage in the future.
God and self-healing reminded me that a real king does not take pleasure in inflicting intentional pain on their queen. A real king desires to eliminate the pain, and untimely replace it with a life full of pleasure, your deserve this kind of love kings and queens! I am no longer looking to have a man fulfill the broken, insufficient areas of my life. Instead, showing up and actively healing with God leading and direction continues to bring wholeness and peace in life. Happiness, wholeness, and peace are possible kings and queens!