In2town Lifestyle Magazine Interview
GerVaise Sarah Guyton Talks About Being A Sex Abuse Survivor And Her New Book The Dirty Man
You have written a new book called ‘The Dirty Man: A Memoir of Healing and Deliverance from Sex Abuse, ’ can you explain what the book is about? At the age of 14 years young, my GOD father, who was also my childhood Pastor, began raping me. He raped me for many years. A biological parent was aware of my abuse and, at times, facilitated the environment for sexual abuse to take place. The toxic climate contaminated the faith in myself, parents, the church, most people, and frankly even GOD. After suffering from bankruptcy in every facet of my life financially, emotionally, and spiritually, after seeking mental, spiritual, and self-help, I have finally realized the Queen Warrior, which was buried under the contained dirt. After pruning and purging the toxic areas of the dirt, I used the
good soil which remained to transform my life, ultimately experiencing true deliverance from sex abuse. The tenacity to heal and to live a life of wholeness after being buried in contaminated dirt for decades is a journey, I no longer want to keep secret, I am ready to share this what I survived with the world. Why did you decide to write such a powerful book? I have had the distinguished honor and privilege of sharing my evolving journey of healing from sex abuse for over 15 years including high school classrooms, community events, and even in a
church setting. At the most challenging places in my journey, I have been able to communicate the ugly truths in a very authentic, yet refined way. Today, I am personally at the most healed place I have been since the onset of sexual abuse nearly a quarter of a century ago. Ten years ago, this book would have been from a bitter, wounded place. I would have written a complete tell-all exposing many Pastors, other dirty people, and could have destroyed some innocent bystanders as well. At this time, my healing journey has evolved into a place I can now safely share with the world my experiences. I am doing so in a candid, therapeutic, and focused way to produce a significant impact within sexually abused warriors and their journey of healing and deliverance. Have you written the book from a personal experience? Yes, this book walks my readers through years of childhood sexual abuse and the lasting impact of that trauma. I share practical strategies for eliminating the guilt, shame, and embarrassment of sex abuse. Who have you aimed this book at? All sex abuse survivors and their love ones. I also wrote this with another surprising population in mind; abusers and would be abusers. I want them to be aware of the damage that is done to victims at their hands. It is my wish that anyone that has been an abuser or is contemplating becoming an abuser will seek help after reading my story. What is your opinion on the sex offender’s registry? I am happy the sex offender registry exists. Unfortunately, my abuser was never listed on the registry. The Dirty Man is a well-known Pastor in the Illinois area. He has maintained his position and appointment within an international church organization for over two decades now. The Dirty Man has relocated his church to a different community and has added the word cathedral to the previous version of his church’s name. Just last week, my former business partner niece was looking for a polling place in the state of Illinois; as I was leaving the room, they mentioned my sex abusers church by name and address. My heart sunk because she is the same age I was when the degrading sexual abuse was taking place. Knowing he is an active Pastor and has access to so many potential victims is a cause for great concern. The sex offender’s registry does not offer remedies for such offenders; it only captures a small portion of the potential threats which lurk within our communities. You have for a number of years performed public speaking on healing and deliverance, do you believe that someone who has suffered sexual or domestic abuse can come out the other end? Undeniably, I am a living witness. To evolve into the mighty Queen warrior, I am today it has not been an easy process. A great family friend named William Wright said to me this week, “You’ve been through so much that to me, healing is not an option for you; it’s a must.” To walk away from a physically, emotionally, and spiritually abusive second marriage was one of my best decisions! I chose to preserve my peace over the public perception of happiness with a husband in the home that did not reflect the perfect promises of GOD for my life and family. Being authentically happy, loving myself, and helping others experience this freedom is an absolute JOY! My life has continued to elevate since I started walking in wholeness as the Queen warrior GOD has called me to be. To have a healthy sex life without the poisonous replays of the sexual abuse trauma is nothing short of a miracle! There is a new blog that talks about the sex offender’s registry, and believes that people on the list have a place in society and the list is doing more harm than good, what are your thoughts on that? I disagree with that suggestion. All sex offenders are not on the registry. People are walking free who are serial sex offenders and have never been arrest or convicted. The responsibility of informing the public about a convicted sex offender who may re-offend put the community on notice—the ability to access such valuable information about a possible threat to themselves and their loved ones. I was victimized as an adult by a serial sex offender and was not aware of the sex offender registry at that time. My actions would have been different if I knew he was a sex offender, and that sexual assault would have never happened. A lot of people who suffer from sexual and domestic abuse keep quiet, why is that? The guilt, shame, and judgment caused me to stay silent for years. Despite being groomed from childhood by my sex abuser, I still believed it was something I could have done to stop it sooner. I then carried the guilt of not coming forth sooner when I learned my younger sister was also a victim at the same time without my knowledge. Initially, believing it was up to me to save her when the reality was I needed and deserved freedom as well. For people reading your book who are suffering or have suffered from sexual or domestic abuse, what advice would you give them? Seek the help you need. Please know you deserve peace and wholeness too, there are resources available worldwide. They are not alone, so many people are here to empower them to make the necessary changes themselves to experience true freedom, wholeness, and peace. As a survivor, I had an idea of who would be there for me during my journey, and frankly, I had not even met some of those “deliverers” until I made up my mind and made the first move to walk in freedom. Excellent resources are available to assist them in initiating and initiating their journey of healing: National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673, National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. What would you like your book to achieve? To give insight to none survivors challenging the misconceptions of what sexual abuse looks like, especially in serial rape trauma. My desire is for the book to enkindle current survivors and propel former survivors into a new dept of healing along their own fantastic journey of wholeness.